Moving through the profound experience of pet loss grief is a journey as complex and personal as the bond we share with our animals. Poet Robert Frost wrote frequently about human perseverance through suffering. Although it’s credited in many ways, he famously wrote or said, “the only way out is through.” Truer words could not be found to explain the mountainous journey through the grieving process when a cherished pet dies.
The only way out is through. – Robert Frost
The Inevitable Heartbreak of Loving a Pet
When it comes to loving a dog or cat, you can most likely be assured to live longer than your precious furry family member. It’s a great injustice and tragedy of this incredible and wonderful human animal bond. We get to experience the absolute bliss of unconditional, pure, joyful love yet it feels like there’s a major catch: we must endure the pain of great loss when they leave us.
A Personal Story of Loss: My Struggle to Find Grief Support
Biscuit & Bertie was a phoenix, of sorts, rising from the ashes of my own heartbreak from February of 2020. My cat of 13 years, Bertie, suddenly died. That morning, I had been offering him a treat in our kitchen; this was a favorite morning ritual that we shared. After treat time, I went upstairs to my studio to do some writing. At lunch, I decided to do some laundry; this was unusual for me. I went into the lower level and found Bertie. There was blood on the floor, he had a chipped tooth, and he was paralyzed in both hind legs. I rushed him to the nearby veterinary emergency clinic, and within an hour, he had died.
Traumatic is a word appropriate for that experience on Bertie’s last day. And yet the trauma didn’t end that day. In the weeks and months following his sudden death, I was in complete shock, and I didn’t know how to move forward. At the time I was seeing a therapist and while she is and was an amazing therapist, she didn’t seem to grasp the depths of loss I was enduring. The only resources offered up from the emergency veterinary clinic was a pamphlet that said, (I’m paraphrasing) “this is going to suck for a long time.” Thanks, I thought, for nothing. Where were the grief resources for these situations? The absolute lack of grief support was a traumatic experience too because I felt so alone in my pain and didn’t know where to turn for support.
Understanding and Navigating Pet Loss Grief
It took me months of trying different modalities to find the support I needed in those darkest days after Bertie’s death. In 2022, I turned the experience of healing my own pain and suffering into something that would truly help people through the death of a beloved pet. My intention was to create an experience in which people would feel understood, supported, and less alone. I saw a lack of support for pet loss and I set on my mission to change that.
The result of years of work is the Biscuit & Bertie Comfort Box. Our gift box is filled with prompts and tools for processing grief in a supportive, understanding, and safe way. Not everyone grieves the same. Some people are comfortable joining a support group or working with a bereavement counselor or therapist. That’s great and it many cases, that level of support is necessary. Yet many people want to move at their own pace, in complete privacy. The Biscuit & Bertie Comfort Box invites the recipient to embark on a self-paced, completely private journey, where it’s safe to feel, mourn, and heal without judgement or shame.
At Biscuit & Bertie we extend compassion and understanding; our support is free from judgement. We believe in being kind to all living creatures, and Mama Earth. We strive to spread love, goodness, and beauty, because a healed world is a wonderful world for all of us. Dealing with pet loss grief can leave you feeling lost and isolated, but know that you are not alone in your experience.
Finding Your Way Through Grief
Experiencing pet loss grief is a deeply personal and often isolating journey. It’s important to acknowledge the validity of your feelings and seek out supportive resources. Whether through self-paced reflection with tools like the Biscuit & Bertie Comfort Box, or by engaging in group therapy, remember that healing is possible.
Rooting for your healing,
Annie Ballantine
