Before we get to the ooey-gooey love stuff, forgive me as I nerd out for a moment. I have this vivid memory of sitting in my 8th grade science class. A student named Nancy sat to my left. My teacher seemed like the world’s biggest nerd from the viewpoint of being 13. During one of his lectures, the teacher proclaimed, “nothing can be created or destroyed, only transformed.”
“Wait! What did he just say?” my mind questioned.
This new information shocked my young mind; it seemed so absolute and maybe a little scary. This is all that is? Had this geeky man with the dense eyeglasses just thrown me a breadcrumb, possibly leading me to the secrets of the Universe? It sounds melodramatic, but at the time, this law he shared seemed oddly profound for 8th graders to comprehend.
The Law of Conservation of Energy
The law he was referencing is known as the “Law of Conservation of Energy.” This law of physics states that energy can only be converted from one form to another, it cannot be created or destroyed. You may be wondering how this is supposed to help someone who is grieving the loss of their furry family member. Let me explain.
There is so much to love when it comes to our pets, but the best part is the love itself, the unbreakable bond that we share. Our furry companions give us so much unconditional LOVE and the feeling is definitely mutual. No one loves us as well as our animals do.
Love Transformed
When that terribly sad time comes and our furry companion dies, what happens to the love? According to the “Law of Conservation of Energy,” the energy of that love is transformed. The love is not gone, it has not vanished, it is only transformed.
In January of this year (2025), my cat, Houdini, suddenly died. This was the second sudden death of a pet in my home within the past six months. It is unimaginable and the grief I feel is thick and sticky. Houdini was only 6. I wasn’t ready for this shock. I wasn’t ready or prepared to say goodbye to his sweet little body or his sassy, give no f’s attitude. He was such a special cat and will always remain that way in my heart.
I loved so many things about Houdini: the way he would sleep with his single hind leg embraced by his two front legs. How he would randomly saunter down our hallway and stop, turn his mouth to the painted wall, and lick the wall. This always made me laugh; it was as if he was a character in Willy Wonka, tasting a “snozberry” on the wall. I loved to find him enjoying his favorite resting spots – the back of the chair cushion in the family room lounger, the seat of my dining chair, the sunroom sofa, and anywhere the sun was streaming in. I loved so many of those goofy little ways that he was my Houdini.
Most of all, I loved his love. It was pure, uncomplicated, unrestricted, abundant, and always on.
It is undeniable that Houdini is no longer in his physical body, enjoying “snozberries” off the walls of my hallway. But I very much continue to feel the depths of the love we shared. My heart is warmed and comforted by the sweet memories we shared over our four years together. Houdini in physical form is no longer, but his energy (and some of his black cat hair) is still alive and well inside my home, and my heart.
Loss Hurts Deeply but Love Never Dies
When our pets die, of course we long to hold them just once more. We long to hear their click-clack on our floors, or their purrs of satisfaction. The loss of these comforts is still very much a loss that can hurt deeply. And it’s important to remember that the most profound gift of having them in your life is the love. The pure, uncomplicated, unconditional love. And that never dies. At its core, love is an emotion and experience, it’s an energy, and energy never dies.
Coping with Pet Loss
We can reconnect with the energy of loved ones passed through recollection of sweet, cherished memories, by asking them for signs, by continuing our special relationship beyond the physical realm. You might set a photo of them on your dresser and talk to them every morning while you pick out which sweater to wear. You might have a special portrait painted to honor them and put it in a prominent space in your home. There are endless unique ways to honor and reconnect with the love of your departed furry companion. How do you stay connected to the love, after goodbye?
All the love-
Annie Ballantine
